Sunday, April 8, 2012
The Highest Place (Literally)
The coolest thing about Colorado, (besides from obtaining the wonderful and heroic Peyton Manning) is that they are literally the highest people in the US. Like not only do they smoke a shit loud of weed and have hippie skiers and all that jazz, but elevation wise they are also mad high. Especially Denver. That's clearly why Peyton Manning chose to go to the Broncos. The guy had serious surgery and has taken a fair amount of hits in his long enduring career. Plus he is starting to get old. (In terms of birthdays, clearly not in ability)The guy clearly wanted to be in place where medicinal marijuana is legal. He's a smart guy. He's played in the NFL enough to know what all those prescribed pain killers really do to you. He's seen players get all fucked up later on from all those substances and supplements during the playing days. Manning know's what's good. He knows that in order to play like God, you have use what God made for us. Weed. Peyton's no idiot he know's it all about that natural shit. The good old green. It 's all purpose, Work out supplement, pain killer, stress reliever, and performance enhancer.
New Smoker Trend
You know the word bona fide....
bo·na fide
[boh-nuh fahyd, bon-uh; boh-nuh fahy-dee]
adjective
1.
made, done, presented, etc., in good faith; without deception or fraud: a bona fide statement of intent to sell.
2.
authentic; true: a bona fide sample of Lincoln's handwriting.
Well i'm trying to initiate the use of the word "stona fide" to describe these qualities when used in the smoking context. For example, an authentic or true bong could be referred to as "stona fide" and the same could be said about a fellow stoner with similar qualities.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Death of a Bong
This past weekend my dear bong Harvey had a tragic fall. He jumped...or should I say she jumped. That's the thing, Harvey was truly of the feminine gender, but trapped inside a boys body and I wouldn't accept her for that.
I rushed into purchasing Harvey shortly after my first and true love Dylan had a climatic life taking accident. I wanted to replace Dylan so much that I was blinded to see the deep personal moments you have when you first purchase your pride and joy. That magical moment when your baked self suddenly realize the perfect name for he or she seized to exist for me. I quickly forced a male name on the poor thing before even taking time to see what it's gender was. I never had a special bond this bong like I had with Dylan. I never shower with this one nor did I me and him (or I should say her) have a special song. I was still mourning Dylan's death and didn't even give these moments a chance to happen with Harvey. I was a cruel an stubborn unreasonable bong owner making a "casual smoker" mistake. I should have had D.B.S. (Department of Bong Services) called on me for crying out loud.
A High Man's Best Friend
On a hot spring afternoon, after driving for awhile with the sun in your eyes, right after you just smoked nothing sounds more refreshing than a nice, cold, Cumby’s chill zones. The best in this world you can buy for less than a buck…(I know what your gonna say, but before you say it just remember the dollar menu items at fast food restaurants actually cost more than a dollar with tax). Anyway as I majestically made mine the other day I just got lost in the different colors. I felt like an artist working on a masterpiece. Time just seemed to stop and it was just me, that plastic cup, and that magnificent wondrous machine.
When my cup was finally filled to the brim, I anxiously stabbed the red straw the hole at the top and began to slowly slurp the icy cold refreshment…Mmmm It was delicious and it made all that time and effort seem so worth it. I, with my own two hands, had just created a culinary masterpiece. But then I thought about it afterward, no matter how bad it tasted or how much the different flavors ruined each other’s taste, I was so high that it was going to taste delicious regardless. Just all the cold, flavors, and colors mixed into one complex potion. Then I thought, I bet no matter the circumstance a chill zone will taste so amazing when stoned. Like it’s just impossible to fuck up. Plus it is so entertaining to make it and will really make you feel like an artist. I recommend everyone do this as soon as possible.
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