The Smoking Babe of the Day

Beach Ball Man

So I'm sitting here watching the Sox game and what happens?...a beach ball lands in the outfield. Nothing that unusual for a major baseball game. But what caught my attention, was who ran onto the field to retrieve it. It was just one of those regular ole ushers that stands in the bullpen making it look like they have an important job when in all reality they just stand there praying for an opportunity like that.  Those fews seconds where that guy got to run out on the Fenway Grass in front of 30,000 people must have been surreal to him. An opportunity he probably dreamed of night in and night out. His claim to fame. He probably has a screen shot of the television of him run action reaching down and picking up that large ball. The fans booed of course and that mud thane just added to the thrill. I guarantee you he was experiencing a natural high and there was adrenaline rushing through his veins. All those cold rainy nights when the score was a blow out where he was still forced to stand in that uncovered bull pen. Or those early days where he was the peanut guy slaving up and down those stairs for little reward. When that hard working man  hastily bolted onto the field and then made a dramatic hope of the green outfield wall to reassume his previous position, all those previous nights must have seemed so worth it. Well good for him! (and I'm not being sarcastic by any means) .

Pop Corn...Really?

Have you ever wondered why the fuck popcorn is associated with being a "movie food". Let's face the two are like bacon and eggs but honestly they couldn't be any worse for one another. Think about when you eat pop corn in a crowded theater it's just common courtesy to chew with your mouth closed. The thing is when you do that, the sound of you chewing is amplified by 100 inside your head and you can barely hear the movie. Then, if you do want to hear the movie your only choice is to chew with your mouth open and in doing so you impair everyone else in your proximity from hearing the movie. Now imagine everyone in the theater going through this personal  moral dilemma of what to do regarding chewing their popcorn. Honestly, don't get me wrong, I love pop corn....it's  a great stoner munchie, a great sporting event snack, and even a great movie food (if of course you laying down alone with your laptop and noise canceling headphones), but why the fuck did it get trapped inside the thick walls of the "Movie Culture".

I'm guessing the reason is because it was first paired with  movie in the age of the silent movie, where nobody gives a fuck if they can't hear anything. Heck, even Hellen Keller could enjoy those things. The thing is, the Charlie Chaplin days are over and so should the days of eating pop corn at the movie theater.